ich wünsche mir spatzen
die autos zerkratzen
ich wünsche mir eulen
die autos verbeulen
ich wünsche mir dackeln
die autos abfackeln
ein rudel von tieren
die autos demolieren

the most useful self help books are the longest because they do the most damage when thrown

ethical hacking is when you hack military contractors

Middle of summer and I'm having hot chocolate because I fucking want to

With all the "emoji" stuff I feel like we went back to writting in hieroglyphs.
Gibts die Möglichkeit, einen User auf seiner Instanz zu melden?
Ich find hier auf friendica nix...

that i do not own a ballista and a spear is transphobic, homophobic and generaly not nice

Wenn mich jemand fragt, wieso ich immer noch eine Maske trage, sage ich: "Nicht wegen Corona, ich bin einfach zu häßlich."
Nach einer kurzen Pause dann: "Wollen Sie auch eine ?"

[shouting out my window] you there, boy!! what day is it?

boy: aye miss! why, it's international non-binary day

then i'm not too late!!! take this sixpence, run down to the market, and bring back the most fanciful pronouns you can find!!
emails should have a header for whether they're good or bad for easier sorting

i wish

my computer

a very

work properly you piece of shit

The labels on two bathrooms alignment chart 

Lawful good: urinal, toilet
Neutral good: two slightly different pictures of clowns
Chaotic good: no labels at all

Lawful neutral: men, women
True neutral: 🚹 🚺
Chaotic neutral: Women, Women 2

Lawful evil: Male, Female
Neutral evil: a picture of John Wayne and a picture of Marilyn Monroe
Chaotic evil: 🌭 🌮

CatCatNya~

We are CatCatNya~, a left-wing instance by cats, for cats (and more!).