Pinned post

to be pinned, how to: follow requests 

I'll probably post many things as unlisted, but sometimes want to keep something a little more private. That's basically the difference between keeping a bookmark for this account vs. following.
[edit: previously used lists as an analogy … which doesn't work]

Follow requests are welcome, in general. I just won't promise to accept all of them. ^^"

If we know each other (in person, from other fedi accounts, birdland, FL, etc.), dropping a short DM (e.g. as reply to this post) could help — I'm bad ad recognising people ^^"
Regardless of knowing each other, a short message will probably increase the likelihood of me accepting a request. But it isn't necessary.

When following I'll expect that you honour some basic principles like "not posting my data anywhere without consent" or "not being rude".
Expect to find find some more or less explicit content here — and probably some brain dumps when I'm thinking aloud.

If you are not sure about something, feel free to ask.

if you're reading this, hope you have a beautiful day today! :-) :heart_trans:

gender identity, "passing", social circles, a little bit of history on how I saw and experienced myself, lengthy! (±/+?) 

I know that "passing" isn't something necessary to be who you are … for me it kinda lead to (or at least played a part in) questioning what I assumed to be a given thing and learning about myself.

So, uhm … I kinda "passed" (as a person not of the binary gender I was assigned at birth) on occasions before even really thinking about about aspects of my gender identity or being non-conforming. I just found it interesting and was kinda delighted by people "confusing" me for being "from the other gender" (past me really was missing some information ^^").

Later on, as I got more and more into kinky and queer environments, with quite some openly non-cis persons, I didn't (for the most parts) doubt what I believed to have always known about myself … just adopting non-conforming as a label.
It took some more time, adopting a new set of pronouns, thinking about what I would do if I weren't cis (name, form of address, affirming medical treatments, …), being told several times by different people to maybe consider being not totally cis (and being simply assumed to be trans/non-binary), and a few times feeling some kind of euphoria when being addressed in "non-matching" gendered ways by strangers, and a little bit of getting over my "being sufficiently comfortable with the status quo", for me to actually consider not being quite as "cis and just non-conforming" as I kinda clung onto ^^"
(Not dealing with "feeling wrong", dysphoria, or suffering in some other way is pretty great and a privileged position to be in … still meant it took way longer for me to even consider something outside of what I was used to — which is "simply being weird und not caring too much about it *shrug*".)

Now I'm pretty happy for being able to (more or less) "pass" in either binary way, or just be an undefined agnostic mess in-between or just outside of "the scale" :blobCat_transgender_heart:
(Some things are significantly easier than others, and quite a few are still out of reach, but still, yay!)
It kinda feels like "shapeshifting light" — and pretty awesome! ^^
(Which, at least in some parts, makes up for sometimes feeling like wrongly using labels like "genderqueer" for myself … ^^")
Plus: I significantly gained confidence in my appearance in general, and more positive towards pictures of myself … aaand even more feeling "I can be and express myself mostly however I want" :blobCat_in_box:

Why that topic came to my mind again: I got stared at (in a pretty disapproving and confused way) in a public bathroom (gendered according to what I was assigned at birth and am officially registered at) for the first time … and sure, it felt a little meh, but also really good in some (weird?) way >^.^<

on nudes and the posting thereof 

See the thing is if I DM nudes to someone specific, there's an expectation there that they're going to be like, good and worth someone's time

But if I just happen to post them, and interested parties just happen to see them, they have the freedom to ignore them if they aren't good

But I don't wanna just post them where I do not have a remotely curated following

What reactionaries imagine leftists dream about: “mmmmm…let’s kill everyone who disagrees with us”

What leftists actually dream about: “mmmmm…TRAINS”

transition has a regret rate of like 2%
marriage has a regret rate of 50%
conclusion: marriage should be outlawed to protect people

a database query language for queers called queery

Show thread

meta sex, silly 

oh yeah i'm into sql (sexy queer lovers)

Show thread

bondage, transformation, plush, hypnosis kink 

Taking someone who's really affectionate and cuddly, outgoing and forward, a real charmer, and leaving them, like, totally unable to act on it

Tying them to a chair and gagging them, turning them into a big soft inanimate toy, hypnotizing them to be shy and nervous

Turning off something they pride themselves on, for a little while, just to see what they're left with 😈

shitpost, tech & lewd related 

When you have to use that annoying vcs, but can't be too grumpy about it, because cutie is distracting you with lewd kinky messages …
horny on trunk

y'know, i think my name follows xkcd capitalization rules

"violet" is preferred
"VIOLET" is acceptable when appropriate (yelling and whatnot)
"Violet" is discouraged. i don't know who that is but it isn't me

I fucking love being infodumped at by cute nerds tbh

selfie (no ec / face out of frame), clothing (+), kink (mentioned, not the main focus) 

Lacing up a corset on myself for the first time >^.^<
Not perfect, but I'm happy for a first attempt. There is still some room and it was much easier than I imagined and was told it would be. (Some experience at self-bondage with ropes might have proven useful though :D)

I really like how it feels and the effects it has! :blobCat_love_melt:
Hopefully I'll manage to wear it from time to time …

"My apologies. But this sword only inflicts pain. It doesn't cause any real physical harm."

Where can I get such a thing? ^^

(Quote from: A Herbivorous Dragon of 5,000 Years Gets Unfairly Villainized (齢5000年の草食ドラゴン、いわれなき邪竜認定), S01E03 @ ~09:50)

online social/dating/whatever platforms (±), context/related: attractions, sexuality, gender identity, kink; lengthy 

Hmm … Whenever I get a message expressing interest in me from someone who, in their profile
- selected heterosexual as orientation
- chose a binary gender option
- only mentions a single binary gender for who they might be interested in
… it just feels weird (and kinda wrong) to me.
(It is more significant for men being into women, but also noticeable for women being into men.)

Like … depending on the site, I've usually stated I'm genderqueer, non-binary, or something similar by now … which doesn't match.
Did people notice? What are their assumptions?

(This isn't even talking about the effort people put into their messages. Which is an entire topic of its own!)


It just feels soo much more comfortable when the other person/s is/are queer as well (or even non-/not-so-cis)! ε> :blobCat_transgender_heart:​ :blobhaj_rainbow_heart:

(Tbh, I sometimes kinda forget that monogamous straight cis people exist/are rather common … and then realising that they do often feels weird for a few moments ^^"
My social bubble got pretty colourful over time — which I enjoy very much >^.^<)

NSFW, Lewd, Jokey rephrase of post 

Trans girls being unable to fill eachother with cum is a pretty sad, tbh

lenghty, slice of life, adult social platforms, job related, gender related, (+, I guesss?) 

Huh … that was … weird … in a good way …

I received a message on this 18+ plattform from a white cis het guy roughly 10 years older than me … so you probably can imagine what I thought before reading it ^^"

But it wasn't like the usual stuff after all:
He wanted to about non-binary … because he is hiring a non-binary person and would like them to feel welcomed, asking me for advice on how to do that. o.O

I am far from an authority on that and didn't have much time this morning, so I basically replied with (a slightly more elaborate version) "asking the person might be a good first step" and a few "basic" things on being a somewhat decent person …

But still … I am kinda confused and impressed …

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